Many men have not achieved the results they were hoping for with their personals ads for a t.girl/woman. This article is to give you a bit more to think about in constructing your ad, which will hopefully lead to better results.

First off, here is a basic formula for getting anything you want.
1. Find out the price
2. Pay the price
In the case of personal relationships the price is often things like commitment, love, sex, security, children, companionship, etc. rather than money, unless it is the bluntly honest trade of money exchanged for casual sex.

1. Find out the price. What do tgirls want?
Although each individual is different, there are some wants which are more common.
Respect as a feminine person. A tgirl will usually desire that her feminine traits and identity are shown to be valued. For a discretely private tgirl seeking a casual sex encounter this could mean that she wishes to be treated as a woman in the bedroom. For example there are more tgirls who prefer to receive rather than penetrate role in penetrative sex and more who prefer to be lead than to lead. For a tgirl who is more open and lives mainly in feminine role, she may like to be publicly dated and proudly introduced to your friends so she feels valued..
Understand that in general men and woman are attracted to different traits, and the more feminine and committed a tgirl is, the more likely she will be attracted to traits that a typical genetic woman would be, such as high social status, evidence of resourcefulness, emotional availability and commitment, masculinity and generosity and less likely she will be attracted to traits that a typical genetic man would be attracted to such as youth, physical beauty, femininity, sexual availability and sexual variety.

2. Pay the price. Show that you can, and put in the effort.
In personals advertising for any woman including a trans woman, it is usually not enough to just state in your ad what you can offer, as any woman who has been around a while learns that many of men’s personals ads tend to exaggerate or lack honesty. You will need to show your qualities in your advertisement if you want to attract a tgirls attention. For example a well written articulate advert that shares your passions and values and is free of typos, spelling mistakes and has excellent grammar will show that you are educated (resourceful, higher social status), confident and open about yourself (emotionally available and generous), and have put some effort in (emotionally committed).

Examples
Consider this personals advertisement
“hey im 28 an 8inhes liks to hook up wit hot shemales babes at yurs you must be able to fuk me to txt me 04xxxxxxxx”
This advertiser gives little effort to spelling, punctuation or grammar, offers little of himself that may be of value to a more feminine tgirl. This ad disrespects the feminine person that the tgirl may be and instead treats her selfishly as a sex object based on what he has seen in porn movies. The advertiser comes across as selfish, poorly educated, lazy, ignorant of what woman want in a men and ashamed to be seen in public with a tgirl.
In contrast consider this personals advertisement
“Hi. I’m Dave. I am recently separated and find I am really missing some feminine company. My passion is the sea and as such a few years ago I bought a cabin cruiser to help fulfill my passion . I love being out on the sea, but having someone with me who shares my love of the sea would make it so much better. I’m 54 years old and most attracted to those a few years younger than myself, but often find I relate well to most within 10 years of my age, more or less. If you would like to get in touch with a view to me taking you out for a coffee or meal to explore further, please get in touch. I prefer email as a first point of contact and I hope this is ok with you. My address is davexxx@xxx.com.
The picture I’ve attached was taken on my boat early this year.
Yours with hope
Dave.”
This advertiser shares his values, exposes a bit of vulnerability and indicates a desire to go out in public, all with reasonable spelling and grammar. This ad shows generosity, ability to be emotionally intimate, education and resourcefulness.

Why is it so difficult to meet tgirls?
There are far more men seeking tgirls than there are tgirls seeking men.
Many men are not aware of this as they do not tend to discuss their tgirl interests amongst each other. This gives them the false impression that their type is scarce and therefore must be in high demand by tgirls. For men seeking sexual encounters with very feminine tgirls the supply and demand difference is huge, which means greater competition and the need for greater effort to attract her. For confident men willing to have a public relationship with a tgirl the difference is not as great as this type of man is actually quite rare and more likely to be sought after by a feminine committed tgirl.

Are there shortcuts?
There are ways to meet more directly.
If your are seeking a longer term relationship with a tgirl you may be able to get to know them, and them you, by becoming a part of their social circles. Once you become friendly with some tgirls, you may be introduced to other tgirl friends they may have and you may eventually find someone you are compatible with. Although tgirls, like any girls are spread pretty evenly throughout the greater community, There are places where some who like to go out may be found in greater numbers, such as queer spaces where they feel more comfortable with less chance of transphobia or other negativity. Such spaces are mostly queer friendly events and venues.
If you are seeking only sexual encounters, the competition is intense, and the girls have their guard up to the multitude of men who disrespectfully and selfishly treat them as objects for their sexual gratification without offering anything of value in return. If you cannot break through the guard, the shortcut here is simply to hire a tgirl who provides a sex service. This is an honest exchange which can save you a lot of time and disappointment. If your time is worth money, this can even save you a lot of that.

I hope this gives you something to think about in placing your personals ads which may lead to greater success in meeting the girl who is right for you.

Arranging a meet

In exploring our gender and sexual fantasies, for some, there comes a time when you may want to share this with someone else. Often this is something we keep separate from our day to day life, family, friends and colleagues so we seek a like minded person who is not a usual part of our lives  to share this with.. There are many who feel this way that have found the internet as a great way to meet such people. So it is quite easy to find a potentially compatible person online who is willing to arrange to meet offline.

Excitement versus fear

Meeting up with someone new can be exiting but also scary. “What if they know me already?”, “What if the reject me?”, “What if they expose me?”, “What if they discover I was exaggerating online?”, “What if I can’t live with the guilt if I do something I will regret?”. These scary thoughts done really feature much when the meet is a long way off and mainly exists only in mind lie a fantasy. Though just arranging the meetup can make the fantasy more real and exciting.

As the meetup date approaches, the “what if” fears start to build along with any residual fears from past conditioning. In many cases as the meetup time approaches the fear can overtake the excitement so much that it swallows your integrity as well and you start looking for an out. This or similar to this is going on with most of the more novice people you arrange to meet,

Site demographics

Much of the activity on brisbanetgirls.com will be novices. This is typical of many internet sites facilitating sex or gender diverse meets. Those who are more experienced quickly filter out those who give off stand-up cues to arrange meets with those more likely to follow through. As a result they spend less time on site and a more fulfilled time offsite. They may however still spend time on site interacting with friends rather than seeking meets. The novice will spend more time on site as they go through the cycles of arranging meets and cancelling. Many may also be slowly building up to arranging their first meets and many may be satisfied just with online interaction. On top of that, due to our sex-phobic conservative culture, only the number of novices exceeds those more experienced significantly. So please expect most on brisbanetgirls,com to be novices unless you get a sense they do actually follow through with meets by chat room conversations between those who have met or pictures of them with other people in a similar context to the meet you are arranging.

Reducing the risk of/from being stood up

Increase accountability: Ensure there is a standing up consequence. For example, one way to significantly decrease stand-ups and increase the likelihood the person you meet contacts you prior if they are not going to show is to ensure you have a valid phone number for them, and they know it. Also agree to give notice if one can’t make the meet.

Look for stand-up cues: A common sign that you will be stood up is prolific questioning prior. Ongoing questions about the meet or the person or the place is a sign that the person is nervous, so a greater chance that the increased fear when the day arrives will be too much for them. Bad reputation is another. If others discuss being stood up by the person, it is more likely they will stand you up too.

Smaller steps: If you can reduce the feared consequences of a meet by not committing to as much, you may reduce the excitement but also reduce the chances of them standing you up. You could meet for a public drink first, or arrange a pre session meet with strict time limits and the option of not going through with a full meet. That way, all they have to do is just meet, without obligation to go further into what might seem scary for them. If they stand you upon this, they quite likely would have stood you up on a full meet that you have invested more time, energy and emotion in to.

Make it matter less: Reduce the cost to you of being stood up. Expect to be stood up a lot of the time so you are not so disappointed. Understand that it is a bit of a numbers game. Don’t go out of your way too much, so you are not put out much by being stood up. Arrange group meets, so that if most pull out, some may still follow through.

See a pro first: A person who’s livelihood depends on meeting you, or who gets some form of reward is more likely to follow through. This may initially seem an expensive way to meet someone, but if you consider the time and energy lost to arranging many fruitless meets it often proves to be the option of greatest value. Once you have had a few meets, your confidence should be up and your resistance to contacts screaming with stand-up cues should be greater, giving you a long term better chance of meeting people who follow through.

What are your experiences?

This is just a general overview from my own experience and that shared with me by others. Of course it wont apply to everyone. What are your experiences with meeting people one on one? Have you been stood up? So much that it discourages you from meeting others?  Have you stood someone up?  What comes up for you as the meeting time gets closer?

This section of brisbanetgirls.com is to explore things in a bit more depth than the message boards. Instead of short classifieds and hookup advertising and event organising, this is a place to learn from, discuss and contribute to the issue that face our community. You can suggest topics of interest for me (Annie) or other contributors to write on. You can comment on posts to help develop discussion. Or you can become a contributor yourself (which I can help with). If I get little response, I may explore issues already raised in the community to occasionally write on.
Admin Annie